Sometimes You Just Gotta Dance!

Sometimes you just gotta dance!

While it has been a little stressful being out of work these past few weeks, I will say that I have loved having special moments with my family.

Tonight I had one of those moments.

Heather was away teaching her first ballet class in years (Hooray!!) so it was just me and the boys.

Since I have been writing more frequently these days I have started listening to music while I write and have especially taken to putting on a Pandora station I created around the electronic dance style music of the group, Daft Punk.

The songs are mostly upbeat and don't have lyrics, so I can set a great pace for myself without getting sidetracked. But back to dancing...

Drawing a Bigger Circle (or) Loving People Again

Me in the middle, where I usually end up.

The past few years have been pretty hard for me.

I don't say that to garner sympathy or to make excuses; but it may help you to understand where I am coming from when I say I need to start loving people again.

I have always been a "people person." I could always find something to love about nearly anyone and I loved interacting with as many different people from as many different walks of life as possible. But the last few years I have found myself becoming a bit of a Humbug.

I can't really point back to when it all started or one single event that started me down the path. I can't even be sure at what point I stopped loving people.

The Media and Manhood: Gran Torino

The other day I was looking for a movie to watch and came across our copy of Gran Torino.

For those who have not seen the movie; see it.

The movie is rated R for language and violence, and the characters are definitely not politically correct by any means; but it is a great movie.

In the movie Walt Kowalski (Clint Eastwood) is a recent widower who finds himself living in a world that has changed a great deal while he remained firmly planted in 1950's America. He has a strained relationship (that is putting it mildly) with his two sons and seems to be haunted by the atrocities he witnessed during the Korean War.

As the movie plays out, Walt is surprised to find that he seems to have more in common with the Hmong immigrants who have taken over his neighborhood than he does with his own family. Through the process of a strange event, Walt finds himself acting as a mentor for the young man who lives in the house next-door.

What struck me most about the move, and particularly about the character played by Eastwood was the "realness" of the man.

Take care of the pennies, and the dollars will take care of themselves.

Do you know why one side is longer?

When I was young I had the benefit of knowing and spending time with Bernard Paul Schweich, or as I called him, Grandpa.

He was on old school farmer who had a quite wisdom about him that I hope to someday attain. He was fond of jokes. To this day I will never forget why one side is longer when geese fly in a "V" formation. And woven in and among all the jokes and anecdotes were little nuggets of wisdom that have stuck with me all these years.

One bit of advice that he gave me that recently took on a new meaning for me was the phrase, "Take care of the pennies, and the dollars will take care of themselves."

When I was 15 years old, all that this meant to me was keep track of your money; but I have come to learn that it reaches far deeper than may bank account.

Essentially, when you break it all down, what he was really telling me was that if I mind the details then I won't have to worry as much about the big stuff.

Take my marriage, as an example.

Marriages end all the time. Statistically, a marriage is now more likely to end in divorce than to survive 25 years. But how does that happen?

Do people get married thinking that it is only a short term deal? Probably not, or they would at least change the vows from 'till death do us part to something more like 'till something better comes along. And if the problem is not on the wedding day, when does it happen?

Does someone just wake up one day and say, "I am not in love. I was in love yesterday, but today I feel nothing." No, more likely than not it was a gradual slide from devotion to apathy.

Our wedding day.

With that in mind, how can I increase my chances of one day celebrating 50 years of marriage to Heather?

Details.

Instead of letting the two of us grow apart I need to take the time on a regular basis to catch up with my wife. Ask her how she is doing and really mean it. I need to do little things like vacuum the carpet when it's not my turn or bring home flowers or rent a movie she wanted to see just so I can sit on the couch and watch it with her.

These are all small things; details. But what is the likelihood that two people grow apart when so much effort is put into making sure even the little things are taken care of?