Stand

My mind has been running all night; so much so that I felt the need to get out of bed at 5:43 in the morning to write a blog about it. And for those that know me... that is pretty significant!

The thought that has been troubling me as of late is the role of Husband and Father; and how often men in our society shirk off the responsibility of these rolls.

This is not really a new topic for me, but tonight (this morning) I am reminded of a scene from probably my all time favorite move: Braveheart.



In the previous scene Wallace accuses the Scottish nobles of settling for "the scraps from Longshank's table" rather than stand and fight for the freedom that belongs to them. In this scene, William Wallace tells Robert the Bruce that if he would only stand and fight that Scotland would stand with him.

I feel that this is very much like the situation I , and I am sure countless men, find myself in from time to time.

Life is not always easy and the responsibility of being a husband and father can sometimes weigh heavy on my shoulders. And it is during those times that I am faced with a decision. I can stand or I can run.

To run means that I back away from fighting for my relationship with my wife. Running means that I decide to do what feels good for me and not what is good for my marriage. Running means that I withdraw emotionally from my wife.

Running is easy.

Running is something I can do without even thinking about it.

Standing is the hard part.

Standing means that I accept the responsibility of leading my family and the possibility that I might fail. Standing means that I choose what is best and not just what feels good right now. Standing means that I press on, even if my wife is distant, hurt, or withdrawn. Standing means accepting my mistakes but vowing in my heart to be a better man today than I was yesterday.

In another scene of the movie, Wallace tells a group of men on a battlefield that they have that same choice: to run or to stand. He says that if they run away from the battle that faces them they will indeed live, but he warns them. Wallace asks them if, one day when they are old, would they wish that on that day they would have stood and fought for their freedom rather than ran away.

I have seen the damage that is inflicted when men run away, so I choose to stand.

Holidays

So, the past few weeks have been pretty tough on me.

There is just something about all this consumerism that we refer to as Christmas that can make a guy feel low.


A lot of things this past year didn't work out the way I had planned, and Christmas is going to be, shall we say "skinny?"


I know that Christmas shouldn't be about how much you spend, and my boys are way too young to even know the difference, but that does not change the fact that I still feel the pressure as a husband and father to provide.


I think this is why I always have such a hard time getting into the "Christmas spirit" every year. And every year it seems it all starts earlier and earlier.


I guess that is why I always liked Thanksgiving more than Christmas.

Growing up poor meant there was always that chance that Christmas would be a bust. If there was no money it meant that the gifts I would get were not likely to be the ones I wanted; and that has a way of ruining a holiday that is all about presents. But you couldn't really screw up Thanksgiving.


Thanksgiving was always more about giving than receiving. It was food, family, football... and more food.

Even when times were tough we could find a way to come up with a Thanksgiving diner. A turkey, some green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie and I was good to go.


But maybe this is may chance to change all that.


Now I am the Papa, and Heather and I can decide what becomes tradition in our house.


Maybe we can find a way to make Christmas less about presents and more about presence.