Neither snow nor rain nor heat... but if we see a dog all bets are off!

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds"

While the United States Postal Service does not have an official motto nor creed, this is the phrase inscribed on the James Farley Post Office building in New York City.

While I realize that these words do not in any way form some postal carrier's oath nor a legally binding agreement, they do form what most people have considered to be the standard by which we should measure the men and women who carry the mail for the United States Postal Service.

These words have also formed the basis many jokes about the USPS over the past few decades and the central part of a humorous story I will tell.

our Cerberus

We have a dog. He is a German Shepard/ Black Lab mix that goes by the name Cerb (short for Cerberus). And while his is good size dog, he is still mostly just puppy; which means he is all bark and no bite.

We got Cerb when we moved to Stone Street as a security measure. So you can imagine my frustration when time and time again I answer a knock at the door only to find Cerb happily sitting next to a stranger on my front stoop. But perhaps the most frustrating part of this story is that despite the fact that Cerb is more likely to lick someone to death than to maul them, and despite the fact that he used to be chained up on the complete other side of the house from the mailbox... our mail will not be delivered if he is outside.

Heather and I first discovered this by accident.

One day we were out of the house running errands and when we returned we saw that the mail had been delivered. As Heather thumbed through the unusually large stack of mail she noticed that several of the envelopes had the words "Dog Outside" written on them.

What we found out was that despite the fact that even though Cerb could not come within 10 feet of the mailbox (he could not even make it to the same side of the house) the postal carrier would not delver the mail if Cerb was outside.

Now I understand that dog attacks can be nasty and I would not want someone to but their health and possibly their life at risk just to bring me my latest issue of Popular Mechanics and a few bills. However, I do think it unreasonable to refuse to deliver my mail simply because there is a dog on the property. Is that too much to ask?

Because of this, we have had to resort to keeping Cerb inside until after the mail has run for the day.

I have even heard stories about postal carriers loudly uttering vulgarities during the course of their duties because a car was close enough to a mailbox that they had to step out of the mail truck to put the mail in the mailbox.

Just try and tell me that the Seinfeld character, Newman, was only a character and not a real person.

So, perhaps it is time that the USPS adopt an official motto:

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds... but if we see a dog anywhere or we have to inconvenience ourselves all bets are off."